I am tired of the inability to do anything about the craziness in our world. Tired of the political leaders deciding my fate where financial and medical means is concerned. Why should the wealthy be the only ones who have security or power in this world? It is tiring to wonder each day, will we have our jobs? Will we lose our health insurance this week? It takes up too much energy. Yet these fears continue to creep up on a regular basis. So I have two choices: Continue to live in fear or do something. Even if doing something is as simple as just accepting what I cannot change and live in today. But! What if I were to just imagine some insane choices I could make? Just silly ideas. What would I come up?
Lets see. Realistically I do not have the courage (nor youth) to march into some Senators office and hold him at gun point like I see in the movies. Nor do I have the strength to hold the darn machine gun up on my shoulders. I can see it now, little me weighed down by a heavy duty gun on YouTube with the caption, "Lady overtaken by machine gun" And there I would be, looking like a fool while the very person I intended to set straight is laughing behind his desk. No, violence is not my thing. Not an answer I would even consider. Ok, yes, I do think about these things, but who doesn't? But I am mature and smart enough to know I would fail miserably at it. I don't even know how to put a simple rifle together, how do I think I am going to handle some of these heavy duty weapons people have these days. I can't even use them on a play station game! Scratch this idiotic thinking thought.
Ok, so what is another choice. I could give up my job, talk my husband into doing the same thing (good luck with this one) and just find a quiet place in the mountains to live, no one to answer to, no boss telling me what to do, no more bills to worry about. (they would have to find me). Free from all the control people in higher places have over me. Of course it would also mean freezing in the winter, starving because I don't have experience or heart to kill animals. Besides there is a greater chance of me feeding the mountain lion or bear than a deer or squirrel feeding me. I would become the animals food source within a week, if that long! And I don't even know how to skin a squirrel! I tried to learn watching Phil on Duck Dynasty but he went too fast. Ok, so living off the land won't work.
I could live with the homeless. They don't worry about bills or going to jobs they hate. Where their next meal will come from. (OK, maybe their food source isn't so healthy or appetizing but it is food). But am I really willing to sit on some street corner or under a bridge freezing to death, or eat out of a garbage dumpster (I am too proud to stand on a street corner and beg, someone I know might see me). And I am certainly not brave enough to sleep in an alley or under a bridge at night!
What about this. I could commit a crime and go to jail. There you have it. A bed and three meals already taken care of. And I think if I got sick they have a medical ward. But then I wouldn't have my hobbies, don't think they would allow me to have my knitting needles or scissors. No matter how much I love reading, I doubt it is something I would want to do forever. And besides, at my age and with my arthritis, how the heck would I protect myself from some broad who weighs 300lbs and is 6 feet tall wanting to make me her "bitch"?
Oh lets face it. I can talk big, but in reality I am just a middle aged citizen who will continue to work everyday and struggle pay check to pay check as long as we have one coming in. I will continue to work my butt off so I can watch social security and Medicare disappear. The people on Capital Hill will always have power over us little people until a generation comes along who are younger and stronger that will say "Enough!" and decide the government needs a little over-hauling. I hope the younger generation will find us older generation worthy of being taken care of and protected. Wouldn't that be nice? Oh dear, there I go again, dreaming.
Time to face the facts. Until I am willing to be a little uncomfortable and put in some extra hard work to do things that are really what I want, I need to accept my life as it is. For today it is pretty ok. I may not have all the fancy gadgets and things others have, but I do have more than I need as well as things I enjoy and for that I am grateful.
So I think I will stay in my own little world and enjoy what is good in my life today. Let tomorrow stay where it is; the future. For today I will do what needs to be done, and do what brings me joy. I will try to not to worry about what might happen and concentrate on what is happening. I mean really, what would these things matter if mother nature decided she needed to clean up this part of the country like she has other parts? It wouldn't matter at all. I better stop writing for now and go enjoy some of the things I can while their is still time left on this one snowy, lay on the couch and read day off, At least today I can still say, "I have to get clothes ready for work tomorrow."
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