Ok, I surrender. I have had enough of being "natural" and letting menopause run its course. Enough is enough. Its course is about to hurt someone or send me to jail! And its not just for me. I am doing this for those I live with and work with as well. They too have suffered. How many husbands have made an innocent comment only to have their wife suddenly hit them with the closest available item? Then five minutes later listen to that same woman cry over not knowing what is wrong with her? Then being the sweet understanding, (and rather naive) husband, you put your arms around her to comfort her and again say the wrong words, only to be lashed out at again. Thus begins the vicious emotional roller coaster of hormone insanity. Not to mention the constant hot flashes. I just love it when co-workers ask, "Cathie why is your face so red, are you having a hot flash?" No you silly woman, I am turning beat red with sweat poring down my face because I am working so hard at this paperwork! First of all why would anyone ask such a personal question and second of all why would they risk their lives? Don't they realize those of us in menopause are lethal human beings? That at any given moment we can explode and unleash venomous rages at them?
I did not know, nor was it explained to me just how bad going through menopause would be, And its not just the physical discomfort, the tiredness and inability to concentrate. But the emotional up and downs as well. My poor husband never knows from one moment to the next what will set me off into a rage. I have been ready to pack up my things I don't know how many times because he is so irritating or pisses me off so badly. I just want to get away from this man who doesn't know when keep his mouth shut. I just think I will pack up and move in with a friend who isn't so irritating. But as I am packing (in my mind) I begin to calm down and realize and ask myself, how long will it be before this friend also begins to say or do stupid things that will cause me to blow up? So I will not only lose a good man but all my friends one by one as well.
Its just not safe to be around menopausal women. And I can tell you right now, if you are one of those women who "didn't have any trouble at all going through menopause", you had better be smart and not tell that to the rest of us. We will take you by the hair on your heads and drag you down the street tarred and feathered! It is not smart nor nice to rub that in our faces as we sit there with our fans sweating to death. I wonder how many women are sitting in jail simply because they refused to take hormone replacement therapy. Oh my goodness, I just thought of something. Can you imagine being a guard watching over a group of women in the "yard" who happen to be menopausal but unable to get hormone therapy? That is just trouble waiting to happen! Watching over menopause and PMS ladies, yeah, that's where I want to work. NOT
So, a few weeks ago I swallowed my pride and saw my doctor and agreed to try the hormone replacement therapy. Its only been a couple weeks but finally three days ago I realized the hot flashes were nearly non-existent, my husband was back to being his nice cute self again and the people at work were finally tolerable to work around. Funny how taking hormones can change other people as well isn't it?
And another great thing is I am once again sleeping through the night, and my energy level is back up. So I am no longer spending time lying on the couch or stressing over things I have no control over. OK, maybe a little. But I'm not raging and throwing things so that's a start. I wonder how much road rage would decrease if more women took hormones. Just a thought.
I still don't understand the women who say these were the best years of their lives, maybe it will take a few more months to get to that point. All I can say at this moment is I am so happy I listened to a few friends who kept telling me to go on hormones and quit listening to the Nay-Sayers about cancer risks. Cancer risks are all around us people.
Hey, maybe one day I will wake up and find out I no longer have a mustache or little hairs popping up all over my face!! Don't you hate that? You go to the bathroom at work and when you look in the mirror you notice a hair that is a foot long just hanging off your chin or side of your face and your husband, if you have one, hasn't said anything? I want to shoot him as soon as I get home. And he says something ridiculous like, "I didn't notice it!" How the hell do you not see a foot long hair on the side of someone's face? I have learned the most important thing in my purse is a pair of tweezers. I carry them everywhere I go. You just don't know when or where you will be when that hair suddenly shows itself!
Women are so blessed. We get to experience life through PMS, child birth, Menopause and then dementia. But at least we have good times if lucky enough, in between. And lets be honest, it isn't easy for our husbands or boyfriends either, after all, they have to live in constant fear of what and when is something going to set us off.
Yes, I am happy to be on these hormones. I only wish I hadn't waited so long. But oh well. Can't look backwards. Just need to move forward and start looking for new interests and joys for this period in my life.
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