I want to begin my first blog with a Thank you to my nephew Paul. He is a Youth Minister at a United Pentacostal Church in Florida. He sent me a CD of one of his sermons. And in it he said a sentence that caught my soul and I knew then I finally had a title for my blog. He said, "Got's got your back." It was perfect. Because, by remembering this simple sentence, I can begin each blog knowing God's got my back. Thank you Paul for giving me permission to use your words for my blog. Now for my first blog.
As I think about my faith; I think about all the religions and doctrines in this world. the different faiths and churches I have visited. Christianity alone has many different religous traditions and doctrines. There are as many different ways to salvation as there are pieces in a jigsaw puzzle. And to figure them out is like trying to put together a 1000 piece puzzle. What is even more interesting to me is how these different churches can sit down with you and show you why they have the truth or knows the truth better than others. They can study with you and bring up passages as to why they are teaching truth, and what these people of faith tell me all makes sense. So how is one to know what is real and what is myth? What is true hope and what is false hope? It became too overwhelming and confusing and I wanted to give it all up. Just one problem though, without faith I have no reason to get up in the morning. No purpose to this thing we call "life." So, one morning a few weeks ago I was journaling and it came to me. What if I were to go to God and say; "God, here I am. I do not know what I believe, who you really are. I don't even know if I believe Jesus Christ is you in the flesh. God, all I know is this. I believe You are God. All powerful, all knowing. I believe this man Jesus Christ walked this earth, that He was filled with your spirit and you indeed sent him. I believe God, that "you are either everything or you are nothing." What I do not know for certain is this; is Jesus Christ you in the form a man; or was he a man sent by you to give us a message. Is he just another myth man made up because we cannot fathom this being the only life we have. So God, as frightening as this is to say outloud to you, I am saying it. And I am laying my whole self open to you. All of me, my marriage, my job, my whole life is yours; and all I ask is that you show me a miracle. Because that is what it is going to take for me to be convicted in my soul that Jesus and the Scriptures are what they say they are. I am not asking for a miracle of outwardness; like a healed cripple. No, all I am asking for is a miracle within my spirit.
So, since that morning many things have been stirring in my heart. One was a conviction to start writing to people "out there" about this new journey between God and me. Not what others claim to say the truth is. I read scripture daily and allow God to speak to me. Just reading the black on the white. OK, also the red on the white. I guess you could say I have thrown the pieces of my faith out on the table and am allowing God to put them together in His time and in His way. The pieces are out on the table; the puzzle is being putting together beginning on the "outer edges". I believe in my heart this willingness to "Let Go and Let God" will bring about changes even I could not imagine.
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