Just back from cataract surgery. Another reminder I am no longer 30 years old. As I sat in the waiting room I noticed a lot of white haired older patients waiting for the same surgery. And in the pre-op room we were all lined up ready to get our turns.
The doctor came in, assumed I knew he was my doctor, I had only met him once a couple months back and did not recognize him. He simply came in and put a mark over my right eye so he would do the procedure on the correct eye. In the procedure room he simply came in and began his job of setting me up and began the procedure without a word. I had to ask if he was Dr. so and so. He never talked until it was over and simply said, "it's done, you did a great job." That was it. I will never see this surgeon again until it is time to have the left eye done. My post op will be with my regular eye dr. I left in awe of how quickly all this took. And a little disappointed that I didn't get a hand shake or simple, "Good luck now." He simply moved on to his next patient. I was forgotten as soon as he left me and went to the next patient.
This was simply another reminder of how insignificant we all are when it comes to the medical world. We are account numbers or patient's with no names. There is no personal connections between patient and doctors these days and I suspect as technology continues to advance it will become even less. As I get older I am not naïve enough to not know I will become less important to be treated than if I were a 20 year old. Everything will be chalked up to arthritis or some other older persons disease to treat and/or dismiss.
It is sad really. I miss having doctors who took just a few minutes to talk to you and make you feel you matter, to encourage you, yes even hold your hand a moment to say "you will be fine". But this is not to be I suppose. Doctors have so many patients now and need to keep patient ratio up in order to cover their costs because insurance companies are demanding more and more paperwork and charting before they will reimburse the doctor. Even good doctor's like my PCP, are loaded up with patients, and although she gives me the time I need, she still has to hurry. And have you noticed, the doctor is on the computer with their backs to you inputting information as you state your symptoms and complaints? Once again due to the demands of insurance company compliance. Yes, I miss the days when the doctor could sit and actually look at me, not the computer when I share my concerns or present situation. I felt I mattered and important enough to listen to. That my health was important to the doctor. Today, I feel insignificant. As patients we are made to wait out turns even though we show up on time; then quickly dismissed so the doctor can move on to the next patient.
Insignificant. That word is coming up more and more in my life. Others in my age group or older share they have the same feeling about themselves in the world; that they are not considered important or significant in the events of life, church, group gatherings, work place. Our new world appears to be geared towards and run by the younger generation who do not want us older folks around. We aren't up to date or no longer "fit in" with the times. In their eyes, and perhaps in the eyes of the medical field, we are "in the way". Not worth the younger generations attention. This can be discouraging. Has it always been this way and I just didn't recognize it because I was the younger generation back then? As I sit here writing this out, I realize I have a choice. I can live out my life feeling and acting insignificant or out of touch with the growing times. Or I can continue trying to learn what I need to learn on the computer and media world. I can chose how I want to be seen and treated instead of accepting the false truth of the technological generation. And that is what I intend to do. I can be the victim or I can do whatever it takes to keep up and continue learning new things. Find things in this busy world to feel I still have something to contribute; I can find the things that bring joy into my life and do them. And if I need medical attention, I will simply speak up and will accept that this area of my life is also changing and I can fight it, complain about it or just accept it and move on.
There are doctors out there who care about their patients and I believe they are just as frustrated with the lack of time they can spend with each patient. I am sure they too, are saddened by the fact that time is so short and there is so much documentation to be done that some simply choose to stop practicing and move onto some other area where they feel they are doing something important. They too must be so frustrated with all the state requirements and Medicare requirements they have to adhere to that takes away from patient/doctor time due to the amount of paper work needed to be completed in order to get paid. So what is left but to get as many patients through the door as possible in order to make money. And we, the patient, who is paying so much out of pocket deductibles in order to get medical attention, are treated quickly and impersonally. I am positive, perhaps naïve too, to believe my doctor really does care about my well being and that it is the insurance companies and large corporations I need to vent my frustration towards. Although this doesn't explain away my surgeons coldness towards me, his patient. He seemed so nice in the office; of course I was his last patient of the day before he was leaving for his trip to New Zealand.
But, I am grateful to be one of the few who still has good insurance and the opportunity to have the cataract surgery done. It will be months of payments, but if it turns out well, it will be worth it. I will not take this gift for granted; I know there are millions of people out there who do not have this opportunity and are legally blind simply because they do not have insurance or money to have what they need to be treated medically. My heart goes out to these people.
No comments:
Post a Comment