I had a choice today. Clean the dishes before work or write. Guess what I chose? During my morning walk the breeze was cool and I could hear it rustling through the trees. It brought to mind just how blessed I am to live where I live and have what I have. Yes, many people have more and live in nicer, bigger homes; yet many have less and no home. Made me realize again how important it is not to compare my life with others but to be grateful for what I do have, to continue being who I was born to be and to do what I enjoy most.
It is difficult to understand the devastation and wars going on around the world. To know civilians who have no say and are being killed and tortured. To know thousands have lost loved ones, homes and entire towns due to natural disasters and the hands of horrible people. Yet here I sit feeling sorry for myself because I have to go to work in a place where it is loud, chaotic and unprofessional. I should be thankful I have a job to complain about!
Today I will continue my affirmation of being a creative professional woman and mind my own business. I will not allow those few woman who profess to be "Christians" and act worldly with gossip and judgment of others effect my view of a loving strong presence in our universe. I don't believe the biblical god; I know people have said it takes more faith not to believe than to believe; so I guess I have very strong faith at this point in time! But that is for another time.
I decided last night to learn excel. I know the basics only. So I got out the expensive book, "Microsoft Office 2013 for DUMMIES" out of hiding and looked at the chapter on excel. Looking at the title made me wonder, "if I do not learn this nor understand it, what does that make me? Stupid?" Is stupid lower than dumb? I didn't do anything with the book mind you, but hey, its a start. Maybe tomorrow I will push myself further and actually try one of the lessons. For now I will leave it on the computer desk and go back to what I have come to be good at, lying down. Its not yoga, but it is relaxing, does that count?
It is amazing how much you want to learn when you suddenly wake up one day and realize how much of your life you wasted being a victim or just plain lazy, truth be told. It is difficult though to get myself out of the laziness I have gotten myself into the last year. How do I go from being a woman who is not blessed with perseverance and know how and give her the energy and determination to do what it takes to succeed in her interests and hobbies? Why are some so blessed with strong personalities and perseverance, the "I can do anything" attitude while the rest of us doubt ourselves? I need a magic wand. Or a swift kick in the pants. If I could afford it I would hire my own boot camp instructor and suffer the abuse of being yelled at all day!!
The positive side now. I have begun to surround myself with woman who feel the same as I. Who have the same insecurities and lack of energy I have at times but these woman have learned to overcome. They have changed and are succeeding in their lives. Surrounding myself around woman who enjoy laughing and can accept themselves just as they are while continuing to learn new things and blow through challenges is just what I need. It is up to me I now have to admit, to make the choice of getting off the couch and "doing" something. Not continue to write about what I want to be different. Yesterday was a start. I have continued this week to make myself get dressed and walk my dog before work. Even when I didn't "feel like it" (that is my normal mantra). I have also written each day. It may not be a world classic or as good as other blogs I have read, but it is a beginning.
Today I will remember the things I have to be grateful for. The things that bring a smile to my face, make my life more comfortable to live in and for the people that have been and are coming into my life. It is a new day to live anew!! I wish to thank my readers for being patient with me as I work out my writing subjects and live this new journey. My next goal will be to sit down when I have real time to write something meaningful.
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